Chuck Norris Vs. Mario
All the earth held their breath. The spectacle was about to start. A storm churned above Time Sq.New York, as if nature herself had come to witness the great event. The town had been abandoned in fear, but that did not cease every man, girl, and baby from huddling round their Tv screens to look at the dwell streaming of this colossal moment.
A Clash of Titans.
A Battle for the Ages.
A Battle between two great Powers.
The last word Showdown.
The cameras zoomed in on a short, thick figure, approaching from the one aspect of the road. He wore soiled overalls and a white shirt over his bulging, muscular frame. Thick brows and a darkish mustache framed his face. A red hat was cocked sideways on his head, a powerful M emblazoned in its entrance.
A pre-recorded voice sounds over every speaker.
“Introducing, the Defender of Mushroom Kingdom, Bane of Bowser, Husband of Princess Peach, The Nintendo OG, Tremendous MARIO!!!”
Across the world, people cheered. In stadiums, city squares, dwelling rooms, hotels, and ready rooms, they roared their approval.
Mario executed a majestic entrance-flip, then winked on the camera. As one, each woman on Earth swooned.
The cameras then modified their focus to another man, coming from the other direction. He wore a brown vest and ripped blue denims. His powerful eyes glared out from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat. A goatee of pure energy bristled alongside his stone-set face.
The ladies started to swoon as soon as more.
“Introducing, the Walker Texas Ranger! Inventor of the Round Home Kick! Undefeated martial arts warrior! 77 time recipient of the Manliest Man Alive Award. The man who created the Grand Canyon just by skydiving…Roadhouse…CHUCK NORRIS!!”
Norris pulled a machine gun from beneath his jacket and leveled it at Mario.
“BEGIN!!” The voice roared.
Mario took off at an uncannily fast sprint, running headlong into the barrage of bullets coming in his path. With ridiculous agility, he leaped within the air and continued to run upon the metal, impossibly hopping from round to round with out slowing in pace. With one last flip he introduced his fist across Chuck’s chin.
Norris took the blow just like the man he’s, then, grabbing Mario by the wrist, spun and hurled him through the window of a close by car. He open fired, and the bullets collided with the plumber as he began to scramble to his toes.
Luckily, the rounds struck Mario within the mustache, which caught them, absorbing the steel. A stream of hearth leaped from the man’s small arms, roaring towards Norris. Nevertheless, upon seeing the ranger’s highly effective dying glare, the blaze parted around him, and burned the building behind him to the ground as a substitute.
“Let’s go.” Grunted the gruff American hero.
The 2 titans charged, their fists colliding with one another in the center of the street. The resulting shock wave that emanated forth flattened the entirety of recent York Metropolis and shattered each pane of glass on the planet. The world over, people panicked as their Television’s erupted into millions of pieces as they looked on in terror.
To the mortal eye, what adopted subsequent was a violent blur of brown and pink, a horrible flaming twister of chaotic battle. Have been the viewer one way or the other able to seeing sights a thousand, nay, one million times faster than the average eye, then he would observe the best match-up that ever occurred. Norris’ martial arts superiority was evident, his good kicks, punches and throws adopted one after the opposite with ridiculous smoothness. But Tremendous Mario was a creature of speed and agility. He leaped and flipped about with a practiced quickness that would put any gymnast to absolute shame. He rained powerful strike after powerful strike during his whirlwind of movement.
Chuck narrowed his eyes and calculated the plumber’s flight path. He spun on his heel and launched the signature roundhouse kick. A sonic boom rang out because the foot collided with Mario and broke the sound barrier simultaneously.
Before the Defender of Mushroom Kingdom might blink he was soaring head over heels above the Atlantic Ocean, the new York coastline fading away. With a flick of Mario’s will, his trusty red cap sprouted eagle’s wings. He turned in a loop and sped again towards town.
He had nearly reached Ellis Island when he saw his opponent riding a Killer Whale in his direction, shaking his fist defiantly as he rode the waves. Mario circled, launching fireball after fireball on the foe beneath. The fire barely singed Norris’ jacket (and did not do a thing to his sponsored Levi’s blue jeans), however the whale screamed in agony and sunk within the flames. Chuck jumped from the creatures back, kung fu place assumed, he hurtled straight in the direction of Mario four hundred toes up.
With a roar, Mario changed his fist to steel and struck Norris, sending him into the crown of the Statue of Liberty (and resulting in the demise of the whole monument). But, never lacking a step, the mighty Texas Ranger shortly began to hurl rubble and debris in the flying Italian’s path. The torch discovered its mark, and Mario hit the ground.
The little plumber crawled out of the outlet type snow-angel he’d created upon impact, his huge, bushy chest was now exposed as his ripped overalls fell off his smoking type. Groping through his pockets, he found half a dozen smashed mushrooms in a zip lock bag. He popped the entirety of it in his mouth, chewing up the plastic and fungi alike with his titanium teeth.,
Norris emerged from the rubble epically. Seeing Mario had lost his shirt, he too shed his vest, revealing that perfect body that only Whole Gym Residence Workout Station can produce. In fact, he didn’t remove his cowboy hat.
The mushrooms shortly did their work on Mario, and he started to develop in dimension at an alarming charge. Even Chuck stood in awe for a moment because the formerly small man grew to fifty ft tall. The fireballs on his palms have been the size of homes. The bottom crackled underneath his feet.
But his opponent was not but completed. With an epic whinny, a horse appeared beneath Norris. The man gave an American yell and galloped forward to meet the giant.
What followed cannot be properly described by word, written or verbal. How can such a battle be spoken of Shall I tell of the way in which the rider struck the gigantic Mario’s knees Or of how he skilfully evaded blasts of heat Shall I communicate of how, defying all laws of physics, he galloped up the side of his opponent’s physique Or maybe how Mario then seized horse and rider, hurling them in direction of the sea. That was the end of the steed, however Norris gave a magnificent soar and collided with the gigantic sternum, swinging from chest hair to chest hair as he struck each exposed inch of skin.
Lastly, with a scream of pain, Mario reverted to normal size, and both men hit the ground.
Birds began to circle around Ellis Island, as did the clouds. Lightning flashed overhead.
Chuck drew a searching knife.
Mario withdrew a hulking warhammer of bronze.
The plumber wielded the hammer as if it weighed nothing. He spun and jumped, spinning and hanging with the deadly instrument. Seven instances his instrument of doom fell, and seven times Norris was slammed with power equal to that of a nuclear blast…simply sufficient to dent his abs of steel. In response, he gashed at Mario together with his blade, carving a number of bloody furrows into his arms and shoulders.
By some chance the knife and hammer made contact, and both shattered. The earth trembled.
“It’s-a-oveer” Hissed Mario in his Italian Dialect, “You are-a-overwhelmed. I am invincible.”
“Prove it, punk.” Spat Norris.
Mario reached up in direction of the heavens, and the sky break up in two. Above him circled twelve blazing balls of energy: the mighty Star Spirits. Lightning descends, overwhelming the small plumber. A moment passes, and in place of the small man is a churning mass of power, reflecting every coloration, imaginable or in any other case. A hideous form of melody floor itself into existence from the very air itself. The being Mario had change into crackled with invincibility.
However Chuck had a couple of tips up his personal sleeve.
With a roar, he took off at full speed. His dash was so fast that he was in a position to run around the planet and roundhouse kick himself in the stone island embroidered logo cap again, imbuing him with strength indescribable.
“I AM The nice CHUCK!!!”
“IT’S A ME! A-MARIO!!”
The force of the bellows ended it…not the duel…the earth. The planet erupted from the power overload. The environment was ripped apart by pure sound. Everybody perished…everybody that is, save Mario and Chuck Norris.
All matter on the earth began to swirl around the two combatants as they met once more. A cosmic enviornment of pure celestial fireplace blazed into existence. The universe itself bent inward, as if it have been a bowl, and the battle have been its bottom. All of reality rushed downward in direction of the 2. A black hole of grinding, infinite mass was sucked in a surreal sphere around the two beings. Light distorted itself as the cosmic spectacle reached a climax.
Now we actually attain some extent where no human can cross. The may displayed there would put the gods of Olympus themselves to disgrace.
The two moved with velocity unnatural, incomprehensible. If you happen to saw this sight, O reader, you could be abruptly blinded with the sheer scope of the event.
After which, unexpectedly, the universe might no longer comprise it. Reality itself tore, shattered, splintered apart at the very seams. All that’s, was, and ever will likely be was made into a huge black gap.
Each males fell into the warp, the lightning flickering about them fading into nothingness. The horrible music and mild from Mario vanished. Norris’ cowboy hat was incinerated. Each fell right into a vat of gravitational destruction.
All was silence.
And then, for centuries, for millenia, for time unknown, both infinite and instant as warped by the common anomalies, there was nothing.
The black hole exploded. A new universe formed. Earth was recreated, every man woman and child returned to their exact position as earlier than the battle, with no reminiscence of it, nothing was left to commemorate the battle save a black gap
And forth from the black gap rode a lone determine on a horse.
He wore a jacket and blue denims, a Smith and Weston revolver at his aspect. On his head was a rugged cowboy hat. On his face, the manliest goatee of all.